So many summers ago.

I can still remember the sluggish molasses feel of the faders on the little 24 channel we used for the orchestra. The smell of heat wafting off the July grass in Grants Pass. Cranking up the new speakers to Lo Fidelity Allstars or even Smashmouth (popular at the time, I have no regrets). Was the only venue I ever worked where no one cared how loud it was.

It was the first time I had to do it all 'myself'. Never thought I'd make it. So many times I woke up in the morning, cold sweat waiting to evaporate in the midafternoon sun, wishing I could quit. Wanting out so badly.
I remember moving that monstrosity of a show. Working with the Britt Festival gear. Big Yamaha 4k, sound board so big I couldn't reach from end-to-end. Didn't know what half the buttons did, "but you do know the other half," said the tech to showed me the basics of that setup. The sprinklers came on, just before 1st Tech. Drenched the power supply in 1/2 inch of standing water before I could get a garbage can upturned over the offending spout.

The 2nd tech went so badly audio-wise, I didn't stick around after to wait for the crazy director to give me notes on how bad it sucked. On of the best decisions of my life.

Never wanted to escape a show so much. Find some grievous illness, or major injury that would take me away from that hellish place. But I made it through. The show came and went. I learned much from the experience. Can't tell if I'm stronger now because of it, or if that was the last straw of horrible gigs that turned me off the industry almost for good?

Green Show, Grants Pass, the farking cruise ship... Have I just had crazy gig after crazy gig, each of which with just the wrong character and just enough over my head to keep me out of the running? Or am I truly not meant for that world?

Hard to say now. Been in day-job land ever since. Got a way-too-stable career going in the University system. Own a house, have an amazing family. Where would I have been if I'd have toughed it out a little more, or .. ya know.. had a gig that didn't suck like a starving calf?

Regardless, I am here now. Trying to burn both ends. Day job in one corner. Cool sound gigs in the other. Who will win? Stay tuned to find out.