Flawed Fiction

Just watched the recent move “9”. Very frustrated in the plot. Let me see if can sum it up for myself:
Scientist invents intelligent machine. Machine is used to make more war machines. Machine turns on humanity, goes all Terminator/Matrix. Scientist makes nine sock puppets, puts nine different 'parts of his soul' into sock puppets. Before he dies and the last sock puppet awakens the Scientist ends up with the freaking On Switch for The Machine. Ninth sock puppet wakes up. Finds key. Plugs it back into the broken Machine. Machine wakes up starts mission over again. Sucks in 5 of the 9 sock puppet's essence. Ninth puppet grabs On Switch. Blows up The Machine with it. The 5 dead sock puppet 'soul pieces' vaporize happily into the air.
Uh. So. As far as I understand it, the world is not left in a better place. Nothing really changes. How did the Scientist end up with the On Switch to The Machine? If he had it, and the machine wasn't working (which is implied since the re-acquaintance with the On Switch brings The Machine back to life), why did he keep working on the sock puppets? So many plot holes for something so visually interesting. It wouldn't take much to spin it into an encompassing, cohesive idea but no attention was paid to that. So much potential, wasted. Alas.

More dreams

We were at a house, long used and recently abandoned by friends/relatives. A group of us were there, headed up my current boss's boss. It was afternoon, I had places to be that evening/the next day.
Somehow the call was made to clear out the house, prep it for sale/rental etc. I protested that there wasn't enough time in the day to get it done but the bigboss went through with it anyway
cut to: scenes of a group of people trying to clear out a desperately full house. All I remember was there was a portable vinyl record player so we had old music to listen to in part of the house while we worked.
Sub-plot arises: Somehow or other the city/country we live in has come under attack by it's nearest neighbor. Sending troops down one town at a time, through planned roads and intersections There has been noted that a covert survey team of foreigners has been spotted, scouting the roads the day before each assault. Rumor has spread a description of this scouting team, and they appear to go un-contested about their business (don't ask me, it's a dream).
As the clamoring cleanout continues (hell yeah I just did that), I notice three people at the road outside. Pointing, taking notes, and snapping photos. Immediately assume it's the 'scouts' and that we're awfully close to being the next target. My urgency hastens and I warn everyone, but business goes about as usual.
Night falls, long after I had intended to be home with my family. Inevitably the foreign assault begins. Troops with guns come storming down the road. We maybe find a temporary hiding spot in the house but are obviously trapped with an unknown future. Will we be captured/killed? Will we put up resistance? What exactly is going on? Only thing on my mind is "I have to get back to my wife and kid."
That's about when I woke. Just a dream with a combo of work-anxiety, don't-want-to-be-here-running-out-of-time anxiety, and a dash of did-Tom-Clancy-write-this-script anxiety?
All for you, uncensored, unedited, no regard to good writing conventions. Maybe I'll merge this dream with my Zombie-Apocalypse dream from before and we'll really have something.

Nearly sober ramble

The nothingness is palatable. I want to write something interesting. Just to feel the keys of the keyboard sink under my fingers for more than the length of an email, or the span of a tweet. I feel like I have nothing to say. All just complaining. Wanton commentary on the day to day goings on. Frustrated at work, grumpy at home. No one wants to hear it. We all have our complaining to do, and listen to others complain just isn't very interesting.
I'm getting to my co workers I can feel it. Unleashing at the same few targets for no good reason. Ok a few good reasons. But it's not getting very far. Staying positive is much more successful in the long haul. Bring people with you, rather than dump them on the ground and try to make it on your own. Almost every day I tell myself that. Then someone does something counterproductive or downright pointless and I go at em guns blazing. Deserve it? Maybe. Helping the greater good by doing it? Not really. Helping my own future? Doubtful.
Maybe it's just winter coming near, but all I really want to do is hibernate, not do anything. Can't seem to think straight, clear thoughts don't come often. Escaping the allure of mind-altering substances is a must, but they do work wonders when you want them to. Beer is an excellent tool for shutting down an active mind. Me and my kind, stop drinkin for a day or two and we're ready to conquer the world. We outperform the nermals every day in a one-drink-short-of-a-hangover haze. Add the instant clarity, energy, and boredom of sobriety; it could be earth shaking.
Enough rambling for one day. Not much to say, but going through the motions is good. Can't be an athlete without the practice. And one of the reasons I bought this dell was for the keyboard.

Just Pretending

Feel like a cheat who's managed to half-ass my way into deep water, but never learned to swim with the sharks (to mix metaphors).

I am envious

Of all you scadians, trekkies, troopers, civil war re-enactors, gun-show nuts, church freaks, furries, larpers, fan-fictioneers, movie-campers, flash mobs, dave-festians, browncoats... anyone with enough conviction and confidence to stand up for what you enjoy and seek out others to participate in the same strain. Dive in far enough to become an avid, an expert, a collector, reknown. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people dig in to someting 'nerdy' or 'dorky' and see it pay off, or even how happy they are just living in that world. Something prevents me from doing the same. Innate fear of following the crowd, even if the crowd is like-minded. Lack of commitment to anything, real or fiction far enough to be anything but mediocre... I dunno.
For all you ready to accept what you love and live in the now. I salute you.

Except for the furries. I was just kidding about them.
Fuck the furries, that shit's just wrong.

Uspent Youth

Cool sunny August morning reminds me of summer in Montana. The adolescent melancholy I thought for being in love.
Now I think that it was the first signs of chronic depression.

Thank you Netflix

For allowing me to pay a fraction of the price to watch a boatload of mediocre movies in the comfort of my own living room on a better screen and with pauses for pee breaks vs the theaters.

Watered Down

Why is everyone (read: the news media and/or the general public who pay attention to news media) so obsessed with the Hollywood Blockbuster?(This could also be any form of, fiction, tvshow etc)? They bemoan when movie X doesn't make a bigger opening weekend than movie Y. Or wonder why move X didn't do as well as expected in the long run.

It seems to me that anything created to try and capture the largest audience possible could not possibly be interesting enough to have the depth it needs to appeal to true fans of any fiction or genre. We've reached a point where maybe people are ready to handle that. The internet is helping that. It's much easier to deliver a niche-based fiction to its target audience with the web than the multiplex. We as consumers seek out the stories and characters that interest us most.
It's better to have 100 different Dr Horribles, or The Guilds than one giant Batman in my books. Much more room for creativity if you're not trying to scoop up the hugest amount of $$ you can. It's silly to trust that the same idea that really hits your core will do so for enough people that Michael Bay can make a movie out of it.

What the hell is happening?

What is insanity if it is built inside the walls of subjective sanity? I call it chaos over insanity. Insanity contains a certain freedom. What I'm seeing now is a sort of ultra-self-centric-hyper-reality that everyone is creating around them. Chaos folds in on itself. Insanity breaks free of self.

What do you think the consumer world owes you?

Apple does not owe you a cheap iphone. You know they make one better-stronger-cheaper every freaking year, don't get all uppity then the carrier decides to line their pockets instead of cutting you a deal

Lucas does not owe you a good Star Wars movie. He made one (yeah count em, 1 don't get me started) and the rest was pansy special effects drivel. You clinging do your millennium falcon like it's your fucking birthmark get the hell over it.

What did you expect from capitalist America? The systems is designed to screw you out of your money every way imaginable. Whole teams of marketing weasels exist solely to trick into putting the highest profit margin into the cheapest shit the manufacturing team can concoct.

The numbers don't lie, enough of you are happy to continue to throw your money at the same thing you bitch about not upholding to the morals you claim to believe in.
Do you think the hotels "help the planet, re-use your towels" ploy is about the environment not the bucket-load of money they're saving? Grocery stores have you paying money for those reusable bags so they don't have to dribble profits out of plastic/paper.

You feel owed by consumerist America? Want to make a difference in the world around you? STOP BUYING SHIT. The only thing this industry responds to is your dollars in their pockets. That and the occasional class-action lawsuit or federal action. Don't kid yourself into thinking the giant franchises are on anyone's side but their own. And quit being all whiny when your favorite conglomerate does something that makes you feel all hurt in the pants because you think it's going to cost you more.

The pessimists guide to optimism.

You are surrounded by darkness. Everything poking out from the world has been produced by the morons who create the media. The political system is a sham, the economic system in shambles. Your co-workers need constant derailing lest their asinine ideas see the light of day. You hate people in general and the things they do and use on a daily basis.
As much fun as it is to sit in your ivory tower of enlightened cynicism toward your fellow beings. The fact of the matter is that pessimism just doesn't get you very far. Hate your co-workers? Well adding a broody know-it-all to the mix isn't making the workplace any better.
It's taken me a long time to see this, but maybe I can boil down some simple steps to turn your totally justified pessimism into just a hint of optimistic usefulness next time around.

1. Find at least one thing to be happy about all day: Related to all the stuff that's pissing you off. Work sucking hard? Take a moment to appreciate how much you've gotten done this week. Cranky at the people you work with? Think of at least one attribute of theirs you appreciate. You'll be surprised how much it helps to take the edge off if you can see one seed of light in the middle of the darkness.

2. Stay away from the news: Every day you'll see new horrific stories of 'whole family slain' and 'how bad is the economy'. The news media thrives on shock-value stories and we can't seem to pull ourselves away from the car-wreck of them finding the most debase acts people can do to each other and splash it all over the top headline links. Do yourself a favor, stay away from the news, all news for at least one whole day. You'll be amazed how much other good stuff your brain can use to fill the time.

3. Get out and exercise: Got a mid-day hate on? Take a walk. Tough day on the job? Hit the gym right after work. Nothing combats the desire to rage like pumping your brain full of endorphins. Not only will you be getting your own private party on from nature's own happy-drug on, but you'll be getting healthy while you do it.

4. Make small changes: Most pessimists I know (the vast majority of which are myself) love nothing better than to sit from on high and espouse our manifestos built of skepticism down-to-earth thinking. It's easy to feel that the whole world is full of wrong and there's not much we can do to make a difference. The difference between a pessimist and an activist, is the will to take action. One of the key problem-solving techniques is to break big problems into smaller ones and solve the little problems first. And just like the idea that just getting started on a huge daunting pile of work will help build momentum to finish it off. So to will pessimism start to give way to hope and *gasp* optimism once you see some small changes you've made having a positive effect on the world you're so eager to be angry at.

If I ran the world

There's be more stuff like this:

Forget Alien's vs. Predator. Imagine the move Aliens. Only replace the H.R. Geiger monstrosities with the cute furry Tribbles from the Star Trek world:
Just put that in your mind and remember this scene:

Them: "We searched the life boat centimeter by centimeter and found no evidence of an alien life form
Ripley: "That's because I blew it out the gawddamn airlock!"

Or we add some sounds and visuals to this scene:

Hudson: "...8 meters"
sound: we hear a clanking of something up above and a sinister *coo coo* noise.
Ripley: "That can't be that's inside the room"

Guess you have to be in my head to appreciate all that. But I swear I'm gonna film that some day and it's going to be freaking hilarious.

Creative Comeuppance

There comes a point where every creative process will meet cold hard reality. Good ideas are simply lost to the ethereal goo if pen doesn't hit paper. Think if Shakespeare, DaVinci, Shaw had never committed their ideas to hard copy.
By the same token the creative film director who can't coordinate the nuts and bolts process will never see their vision to the light of day. It's the kind of thing that gives me respect for some of these big names who have pulled off genius but eventually get written off for some notable mediocrity. Spielberg, Lucas, Scorsse. People like me lack the sheer concept of moving something from idea to footage that these people figured out 20 years ago. It takes a certain tenacity, mode of means, and devotion to bring forth creative ideas in a medium that others will discover. Just because everything we see isn't a home run, doesn't mean we should discount their entire body of work.

How many genius ideas have been borne and lost within a single mind, with no concrete document of it passing. For a gross estimate, what if all the content we see only constitutes one half of the great ideas that have been created. How many stories, sculptures, films, paintings, operas, dances never saw the face of light because they were trapped inside someone's mind. My guess is that the percentage is far greater, but there is simply no way to tell who many works of genius have been lost over the years.

What would have happened to Michelangelo's body of work if his hands had been crippled as an infant rendering him unable to paint?
History is written by the victors. As is art. Not to mention those who put their works in media mean to last. Stone lasts longer than parchment, paper longer than these magnets I trust to my thoughts. Are there whole cultures, entire archetypes and unique stories wiped out simply because their methods of transcription couldn't survive over time? It is just as foolish to think we are the lone intelligence in this universe as to think we have seen even a fraction of the history that once existed.

What am I getting at? Create something. Put it to stone, to paper, to 0's and 1's. I truly believe that every person born to create something unique and amazing. So few will survive time and decay. Don't loose your story to the short memories of our lifetimes. We are far too important to be forgotten.

Rejected IT Headlines for April Fools

1. IT Department goes green, cuts bandwidth to all users in order to help reduce carbon footprint.

2. Conficker update takes it airborne, now infects humans.

3. System Administrator takes down 'The Server'

4. New server name scheme launched: all to be replaced with names of major stock markets.

So many summers ago.

I can still remember the sluggish molasses feel of the faders on the little 24 channel we used for the orchestra. The smell of heat wafting off the July grass in Grants Pass. Cranking up the new speakers to Lo Fidelity Allstars or even Smashmouth (popular at the time, I have no regrets). Was the only venue I ever worked where no one cared how loud it was.

It was the first time I had to do it all 'myself'. Never thought I'd make it. So many times I woke up in the morning, cold sweat waiting to evaporate in the midafternoon sun, wishing I could quit. Wanting out so badly.
I remember moving that monstrosity of a show. Working with the Britt Festival gear. Big Yamaha 4k, sound board so big I couldn't reach from end-to-end. Didn't know what half the buttons did, "but you do know the other half," said the tech to showed me the basics of that setup. The sprinklers came on, just before 1st Tech. Drenched the power supply in 1/2 inch of standing water before I could get a garbage can upturned over the offending spout.

The 2nd tech went so badly audio-wise, I didn't stick around after to wait for the crazy director to give me notes on how bad it sucked. On of the best decisions of my life.

Never wanted to escape a show so much. Find some grievous illness, or major injury that would take me away from that hellish place. But I made it through. The show came and went. I learned much from the experience. Can't tell if I'm stronger now because of it, or if that was the last straw of horrible gigs that turned me off the industry almost for good?

Green Show, Grants Pass, the farking cruise ship... Have I just had crazy gig after crazy gig, each of which with just the wrong character and just enough over my head to keep me out of the running? Or am I truly not meant for that world?

Hard to say now. Been in day-job land ever since. Got a way-too-stable career going in the University system. Own a house, have an amazing family. Where would I have been if I'd have toughed it out a little more, or .. ya know.. had a gig that didn't suck like a starving calf?

Regardless, I am here now. Trying to burn both ends. Day job in one corner. Cool sound gigs in the other. Who will win? Stay tuned to find out.

..."What's the Weirdest call you've had?"

We get that all the time. Heck whole websites are devoted to techies sharing their horror stories of crazy customer interactions.

My favorite customer interaction this week was an email that went something like this: "Hi, I see your website that says you'll never ever ask me for my password. What can you tell me about this email that looks like it's from you asking me for my password?"

Hmm what can I tell you? I dunno. How that's the reason we put up a warning in the 1st place? There's been dozens of these Phishing emails coming to schools and businesses all over the place so the fact that you've come from some other planet where they don't have email is readily apparent.

It's akin to "man.. there's this red blinky sign that says DON'T WALK, but there's clearly a crosswalk in front of that, what gives?"

At least this one was suspicious enough to ask 1st. Predictably we get a handful of people who actually responded to the message with their email password to the nefarious source.
Me: oh sure. be glad to set you up with a new password. I'm just gonna need a valid credit card # and Social Security # first m'kay?

Weirdest Call Ever?
Forgetting that stuff at the end of the day is what keeps me sane.